it took me a while to notice it. I was blankly looking at some run down buildings while the escalator slowly took me down to the terminal. The train ride cost me exactly 25 baht, which is now about $1.10c. I went through Siam first, the major shopping district, then i passed Chitlom and Nana to finally get to Ratchatewi, the station where my journey stopped. My station. Well i wouldn’t exactly call it my station considering its still a good 30 minute bus ride from where I live, but I’ll claim it as mine. The area that I live in is a water district, because i live near the river. I don’t know why they decided not to supply sky trains to my district, maybe they didn’t think it was worth it due to all the storms that we get, i don’t know.

I spotted a mangy looking cat, cautiously poring its way through the rather weathered battered, broken down balcony of the top floor of one of the buildings i was blankly staring at. I didn’t notice the cat when i saw it. I noticed it when i realised it was on the top floor of one of the buildings, where the ground was an impressive distance away. I looked down to the bottom and calculated that if this cat lost it’s footing and fell, it would die. There was no doubt about it. Gravity would be it’s usual stubborn self, the cat would fall through the wind, and in seconds a once cautious mangy cat would become a dead mangy cat.
So I watched it. I watched it for a good 10 seconds, waiting for it to fall.
It never did.

I had to go over to the other side of the terminal to get home, so i lost interest pretty quickly. But I did wonder whether this cat knew it was so close to the edge. I wondered whether this cat knew that beyond the edge was a fall of about 15 metres, a simple number that would kill pretty quickly. I thought about what i saw and tried to see if I could get anything out of it myself. You know, do the whole ‘let’s analyse this scene and see if God wants to show us anything’.

God told me that inside the building, behind the balcony, was a room. And inside that room, lived more cats.
These cats wanted to go out to the balcony too, adventure out, just like the one i was watching.
These cats had insecruities and worries and fears and childhood memories, just like the one i was watching.
These cats let these things drive them crazy, made them live normal lives, made them believe ‘normal’ lies. These cats stayed within the walls of ’safe’, inside the walls of lazy, apathetic, fear, zero-confrontation, perfect, worry, stress, insecurity.

The cat i was watching, did not.

Sometimes i feel like half the world is on the edge of themselves.
The world is beckoning them to commit scandalous and rebellious acts against their current characters; because their characters are defined by the walls of the above, this knarky self-culture thats bleeding them slowly away, until they grow old and indifferent and frustrated – not understanding anything except their own bitterness.

search oh, search for life.
Its simple, and hard.
Good God can you still get us home? I think he can, thats why the sentence above does not have the word impossible in it.
mt. 7:7